I'm Sure It's Happened Before

I was riding the skytrain to school this afternoon. I was really tired, as usual. I think I was in some kind of zone of thought where the rest of the world took on a second reality, it was there, but only by coincidence perhaps. I'm just trying to explain how out of it I was when the train started leaving the station before my stop. As soon as the doors close I absentmindedly reach up for the cord thing that I would normally pull for my stop on a bus. This is not a bus though so my hand finds nothing. My hand somehow keeps searching and finds something to push, which happens to be the emergency silent alarm strip. I think it was almost immediately after pushing it that I came back to full consciousness. My hand was still raised when I realized that I had pushed the silent alarm and I kind of freaked out. I was looking around the train at everyone else to see if anyone had seen me push it. Sure enough there were a few people who were kind of watching my raised hand with a kind of curious disapproval. When they noticed me looking at them they quickly looked away, they must have been afraid that I was looking for trouble or something. I didn't know what to do. It had been such a distant action that I wasn't even sure anymore if I had pushed the strip anymore.

The train pulled into the next station and much to my annoyance there were some transit people waiting outside the doors, I don't know if they knew exactly which car had triggered the alarm or if it was a coincidence but they were right there. I was ready to get off the train as soon as the doors opened but they kind of stopped me with raised hands like they wanted me to wait for a second. They looked into the train and I looked with them. There was some guy sitting behind where I had been sitting and he was just pointing at me, not saying anything. I don't know what his deal was, I think he must have just been a complete tool idiot jerkwad because I have never seen anyone act like that. The transit people took the hint and asked me if I had pushed the silent alarm. I had to explain that I had just been so out of it that I had pushed it by accident, thinking I was on a bus. They didn't look convinced but they gave me a warning that I could be fined for pushing the alarm without reason and then they told me to go. I was pretty embarrassed. I was mostly still burned by that guy pointing me out. I cannot believe that someone would do that. It didn't get him anything and it just put me through an uncomfortable dialogue. Some people just don't know when to ignore stuff.

I went to a 7-11 after that to get my new bus pass. In front of me in the line was a really old looking dude who was buying a jumbo slurpy. I thought it was really funny to see. He was your typical old man, but here he was sipping on this huge cup of frozen sugary syrup. I didn't even know old people could handle that kind of thing, let alone enjoy it. The look on his face when he sipped it was priceless too. I would describe it as serious contemplation combined with joyful nostalgia.

I Laughed, and then I Laughed But Didn't Smile

My brother told me I had to see this video today. He always says that kind of thing to me, but today it was actually true. He found it because it was featured on the main page. I think I can say it is the best youtube video I have seen in a long time, it is extremely funny. You can watch it here. Everything about it is hilarious. You have to watch it. I won't say anymore.

I also saw a video on youtube today of a giant octopus fighting a shark. I won't say who the winner was but I will say it was surprising to watch. If you're curious you can check it out here. Animal fights can be exciting and educational.

I shot a video project today. It was really funny. I realized quickly into the shoot that it would have been awesome to have an extra person shooting the making-of. A lot of the behind the scenes happenings were even better than the movie we were making. We decided that we would have to write more simple shorts and then shoot making-ofs while making all of them. I think it would be hilarious to see that kind of work when it is done by a group of friends that aren't too organized or concerned about wasting time. A comedy short shoot is just a fun place to be.

When I have to do something the next day and it involves being ready by a certain time in the first half of the day I usually don't sleep so well. I usually dream about needing to wake up to be ready and then everything usually doesn't work out anyways, either I completely missed what I needed to do or I'm not organized enough to do it when the time comes. I think I suffered from a bit of that last night but I know I also had some fun dreams too. I'm pretty sure I did a bit of freestyle walking. I would say the best thing about being a freestyle walker is being able to dream in freestyle walking. I haven't done any real freestyle walking in a very long time because it isn't fun alone and I'm also out of shape and I don't want to hurt myself doing anything extreme. I still have enough of the mindset though to dream about it. Physics can be ignored and I can jump around and slide and defy gravity in the most fun ways possible. If I were to recommend freestyle walking to someone the main reason would be to open up freestyle walk dreaming. I don't know if dreams get any better than that.

Solo Silent Darkness Dance Party

So today I think everyone was supposed to turn off all their electricity from 8 to 9. I didn't think it was too important to do, but I didn't want to be the asshole that didn't do it, so I went along with it. No one else was home so I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do with no electricity. I decided that I should load up my ipod with a bunch of awesome dance tracks and just dance for an hour with no lights on. It was great. I was so pumped when it started up with 'We Are Scientists', I almost slipped several times on the wood floor in my socks. I danced all over the house, dancing like crazy. No one could see me so I could do the most wild ridiculous moves without feeling too stupid.

My cat was there and she wanted to go out a few times but when I opened the door she didn't want to go out anymore, I guess because it was wet. The second time this happened I was walking by her and she suddenly batted at my leg and hissed at me. It kind of freaked me out, but I was also listening to Chuck D and Anthrax playing 'Bring the Noise' at the time, so I actually snapped at my cat with the loudest "Hey!" I could make. I think the music must have influenced my reaction.

Considering I was listening on headphones the whole time and dancing like crazy, it was a small wonder that I didn't yank the cord off by accident more than once. It happened during 'Romantic Rights', if it was going to happen for any song it would be that one. By the time 9 o'clock rolled around I was thinking about stopping. I loaded more than an hour onto my ipod but the songs had been slowing down a bit. After all, the power off hour thing was over. Then just after 9 the next song started and it was 'Little Sister' by Queens of the Stone Age. I had to keep going. The music stayed good so I just kept going. I knew there wasn't too much more so I thought I'd wait until everything had played.

I couldn't quite recall if I had put on an Oneida song because I figured that if I had I would probably stop if it came on. My reason being: the song only has one part that basically repeats every two seconds for a total length of 14:13. I'm not sure why I included it in the playlist. Anyways, this song 'Sheets Of Easter' starts playing and almost immediately I feel reinvigorated to dance the whole 14 minutes of it. It was so intense. You have to listen to the song. I've listened to it in its entirety twice now. You need to be in the mood but it is great. I had to take a phone call in the middle of the song so I kept listening with one ear and dancing while talking. I had to explain to a friend that I had been dancing alone in the dark for the past hour and a half when he asked me what I was doing. He didn't get it. The song was so long, I had no idea where it was in the time line either. It finally finished and the last song, which I knew was still left played. It was the Sammy Danger Remix of 'Black History Month' by Death from Above. It was a good final song. I guess it finished around 9:40. I think I could do that every night. I had a nap earlier but I don't think I'll have trouble falling asleep after dancing.

What did other people do for their hour of no electricity?

I also went running with my brother this morning. I pushed myself until I felt like I might be sick and then I had to stop and walk. The worst part was the back of my throat tasted like blood because of all the cold air I had breathed in. I had tried to breath in through my nose but after a while it wasn't good enough and I needed my mouth. Comparing the running with dancing, I would say that dancing is much better.

Terrible Transit Reading Material

First off, this is friday's post. I'm going to say right now that 6 am is going to be my official new day time. After midnight is not the next day as far as I'm concerned. It's six hours after that.

Another transit story today, not a great one though. I thought it was funny though. I know it's not nice to make fun of fat people but I'm just going to make some observations. There was a really fat guy in the back of the bus today. I looked at him a few times and noticed that he was quite large. When I looked at him again about a minute later he was leafing through a collection of coupons for mcdonald's. I could just imagine him thinking about whether he wanted to get two big macs or a two can dine meal deal. He may have also been cursing the fact that breakfast was only offered until 11am. Most people read books or newspapers on the bus, this guy reads coupons.

I don't think reading newspapers is much better though. I have something more than a strong dislike for the 24 and metro papers. I think they are just about the most mind-numbing words that anyone could feed to their eyes and mind. I'm biased against the news as it is, but if I do care to read up on current events I usually check out the bbc, they seem to have it together, and also have the atlantic ocean between them and the US. I can still remember when there was no such thing as the 24 or metro. It seems strange how easily it has been accepted. I don't know what their agenda is, but I don't trust whoever is producing those waste-of-tree publications.

Only a few more weeks of school left. I really need to get serious about my stuff, I've been putting it off way too much. As it is, I think some of my grades are going to suffer. I do hereby state that at no time before April 18th will I play any video games without the company of another person playing the game with me. I figure that if I write it down here it's harder to ignore. I think I can stick to that. I'm sure I'll have other distractions as it is anyways.

Two dreams from what I think was a very busy night of dreaming. There were tons of details so I'm going to try to only include things that make sense or are funny.

The first dream, I'm in prison with a couple friends. I don't think I know why, but it may very well be political because it is in the states. My friends and I have to do labour as part of our prison term, and we all have specialized jobs. I realize that the three of us, with the tools of our jobs, are perfectly equipped to break out of jail. I know one of us had wire cutters or something and I became surprised that the prison would be stupid enough to give us such tools. We plan an escape from the prison and make a run for it. The prison was right on the US/Canada border and we want to get back to Canada. The border looks more like the US/Mexico border though and there is a big river between the countries. My friends and I jump into the river and begin swimming as fast as we can. We know we only have so much time before they notice we are missing. The river is filled with a strong bleach-like chemical and we are all burned by it but keep going. I switch into a fierce backstroke so I can keep my face out of the water. We get across the river fairly quickly because our swimming is unrealistically fast. On the other side is another prison, a Canadian one I guess. We can't go around the prison for some reason so we have to go through. We scale the wall and sneak in. We don't want to be seen because we know the guards will not recognize us. We're also worried about being seen by other prisoners because they might rat us out. Nothing really happened after that, I don't think we ever got out of the prison in the dream.

In my second dream I had to shoot a video for a class. I don't think I was really aware of what was going on a lot of the time. I think I had been planning to shoot the video on my own time but the instructor had given me time in class to do it and I wasn't sure what to do. I was all over the place trying to plan things and I had never organized anything because that wasn't my style. My instructor, whom was not from real life, started getting really mad about my lack of preparation. She wanted me to come back to the class because I was somewhere else just doing what I wanted to. I said I didn't need to plan anything really and would not go back to the class because she had given me time to work, even though I was not working. She got really mad and grabbed me by the elbow or something. I then got super angry that an instructor would use physical force when I refused to cooperate. She was old but had a mean grip on my arm and was kind of twisting it. I yelled at her that she had no right to touch me at all in any circumstance. She retaliated by explaining that it had once been her job to touch people. Somehow I knew what she meant, and she meant that she had worked in the movie business and she had been really good at calming actors by simply touching them. She dragged me back to the class and I was still furious, saying she would not get away with her forceful ways. She reminded me again that it had been her job to touch people. I had had enough so I yelled fully in her face that she sucked at touching people, a harsh comment, and then I took off again, breaking free of her grip. That dream went on for a while but I thought that was the most interesting part because of the super intense confrontation. That's the second dream now where I have had a major disagreement with an instructor. It must mean something. My guess at a meaning would probably be that I don't agree with my instructors.

10 Times More Exciting (At Least)

Some friends and I developed a new way of greeting your friends that makes the whole affair at least 10 times more exciting. With one friend we somehow started hiding whenever we saw each other. We would then try to sneak up on each other for no real reason, even though we both saw each other already. That's been happening for a month or two, but today it was taken to the next logical step up. I was walking towards two friends and waved to them. Then when I got close to a short wall I ducked down and disappeared behind it. I wasn't sure what they were doing but I could hear them whispering. I peeked around the corner after a brief wait and had to duck back again when I saw my friend pointing his imaginary gun at me. I prepared myself and whipped back around the corner letting of my own imaginary shot and it got him. I crouched up over the wall to see where my other friend was at and he tossed a grenade my way. Since the grenade was imaginary I couldn't find it and it exploded before I could scramble away. It was awesome. We decided that it should happen more often. Now, whenever we see a friend that we know is playing the game we need to either be quick on the draw or find good cover fast. There aren't really any rules, just point your fingers and make some kind of imaginary gun sound and hope the other person admits that they had no chance against your quick reflexes. I'm a little worried that maybe I'm just being a stupid guy and that the game is pointless and also violent. I don't think I've discussed it with any females yet, I'm sure they wouldn't approve. I guess I do know that it is a stupid, violent, guy thing to do, but the truth is it is fun enough to outweigh those cons. Maybe it will get old fast, but until then I will have a great time every time I run into a friend.

Leaving my backpack in the trunk of my friend's car has turned out to a great break. I hate carrying around more than I need to, and wearing a backpack makes me feel restricted, (I'm not sure exactly how), yet I wear a backpack everyday without thinking about it. This week I have not had a backpack and it made me realize that I don't actually need it. I regret that my ipod is in my backpack right now, but other than that it has been sweet liberation. I think I will most likely continue using it less once I get it back.

I was sitting next to a really loud breather today in a lecture. It was very distracting. Worse than that I was a bit worried that my friends sitting with me might think that I was making all the noise. I usually try to breath quietly and I actually do have to try because my nose is just noisy. This woman was super loud though. It also sounded really forced. I'm glad I didn't think it was funny at the time because I could have started laughing which would have been bad sitting in the front row right in front of the speaker. If you don't already, consider your breathing volume the next time you are sitting around. If it's really loud figure out why it is and maybe find a way to reduce the effect. That's my advice for today.

I was yanked out of my dreams this morning by my alarm and lost all memory of the night. It was really difficult to get up. I think I am genuinely exhausted. I would consider getting more sleep if I wasn't having so much fun being awake.

The Time Stamps Mean Nothing

I noticed recently that all my posts are time-stamped with the time that I opened the 'new post' window. This means that I can keep a window open from any particular time and submit that post whenever I feel like it. I've been doing that for the past few posts because I haven't gotten around to writing them until after midnight, and it is always annoying when it displays being the wrong day, even though it is technically right. The time stamp on each post really means nothing though. I could have a window open from last week and publish a post in that window today and it would be stamped with last week's date, at least that's my theory. It definitely works on smaller time scales and even carries over from one day to the next. Also, I'm pretty sure I can go back and edit any post and it will not give any updated time or date for when any changes were made. The lesson of this pointless observation is the time stamp means nothing, but if you want to write your post after midnight but want it listed from the day before, just open the window before midnight and write that post whenever you feel like it. Also, unless you check this site regularly, I could be constantly going back over everything I write and you would never know. Somehow I feel like these observations were a waste of everyones time but I already wrote them all so it would just waste more time to go back and delete them.

Now for a mystery. Today, while walking to a friend's house, I encountered a piece of dog poop on the sidewalk. There were several strange things about this poop. Firstly, the poop was right in the middle of the sidewalk. Maybe that's not strange because I suppose it's possible that someone is just that much of a lazy ass that they won't even push the poop to the side of the walk. Or maybe they thought that it would be easier to notice and therefore avoid if it was in plain isolated view. Anyways, the strangest thing about the poop was something I did not notice at first, and for good reason. As I continued down the sidewalk I encountered another piece of the same poop, I'm guessing it was the same because it looked the same, I did not taste it to find out for sure. This was about half a block past the first piece. I considered it odd that the poop could have travelled so far down the sidewalk. I didn't think it likely that someone would kick a piece down the sidewalk until they realized what it was, nor did it seem very likely that the dog had been pooping on the go and the owner had let it happen everywhere. The real puzzler came when I crossed the street at the next block. There was more of the same poop. How did it get there? How did a piece of poop manage to travel half-way down one block and then cross the street? I have no clue. I'm going to have to label this one 'The Mystery of the Roaming Poop" and file it under 'unsolved'.

I decided that April will officially be poll month. I'll try to have as many great polls going as possible. I'm not sure how many people actually visit this site daily, or even at all, but I was thinking of making the polls only last for a few days each. In preparation for this I'm putting up a new poll to find out a bit about visitors here. Please participate. The superior fruit poll is almost over, and apple is winning by one vote. If you don't agree that apples are superior to oranges you'd better vote now or forever hold your peace (piece? which one is it?).

Some amusing dreams that clearly show again that I have been playing too many video games. The interesting thing about these ones is how I incorporated the video game format into real life. Often when I dream about video games from playing them too much it is just about the game itself and trying to complete difficult parts. Not in these dreams.

In the first part I had to fight the boss, who was actually the evil female boss from Ugly Betty and my boss in the dream. I guess it didn't matter that she was my boss because I had to defeat her. I had to run around this pond while stomping on guitar effect pedal type switches that would launch balls or something at the boss. The first one I launched was a good hit but then it got difficult to aim and time properly. I was getting scared about being caught by the boss but then she walked by me while I was running around and I noticed she didn't try to attack me so I felt safer. She was only a normal human after all. I think in the end I gave up and she didn't care that I had tried to defeat her.

In the second part I was in my oma's house and Ridley from the Metroid games was flying outside the windows. Ridley is a giant dragon type monster thing. Me and a group of people all had to run up and down the stairs to hide. The way it worked was that if Ridley saw us for longer than a few seconds he would attack us. We didn't really have any way to attack back so we would run upstairs until we saw his eye out at the window and then we would run back downstairs until we saw his eye down there and we'd have to run back up again. At some point I stopped worrying about Ridley and noticed a guy outside the front door. I was pretty sure that he was working for Ridley somehow, and I was also pretty sure that he was french. In my best french accent I told him to get lost and that nobody wanted him around. I was with a bunch of friends and they thought my accented verbal assault was awesome. Another friend got really into the attack and said the guy's clothes were really bad or something. The guy was clearly offended by this and started walking back to us to explain to my friend who had made the comment that my friend's clothes were actually much worse. He also explained that women were attracted to his clothes which he demonstrated by getting his female friend who was suddenly there to nod in approval. That's all I remember.

Some Musical Discussion

I had a new idea for making music. I really like making both mellow acoustic songs and energetic electronic songs. What if I recorded the same song in both styles? I think it would be fun and would work well. I always like hearing covers and remixes when both songs are good. It would save me the trouble of writing new songs but the arrangements and instrumentation could be radically different. Maybe that's lazy, but I think it could be effective. I know I'm always coming up with ideas for music and never follow through with them so there's no guarantee that this will ever happen, but for now it will be my goal.

I know I said it before and I will say it again, Blonde Redhead's newest album '23' is so good. If you take one thing from reading this blog let it be that album. I find the songs so powerful and the sounds are so rich. I love it. I haven't listened to it too much, which is good because I usually listen to my favorite albums over and over and then lose interest. I'll try to savour this one.

Speaking on that topic, we listened to Bach's Mass in B Minor the other day on Easter. We're not religious but my Dad wanted to play it anyways. He's said it on several occasions now that it is on a lot of desert island lists. What I mean by desert island lists is that if you were stranded on a desert island, the list would say what you would want to have with you. Apparently Bach's mass is so deep and complicated that you could probably listen to it over and over again without ever getting bored of it. While that might be true and the typical pop album might not hold up too well on a desert island I don't think I would want to listen to a mass, (I believe that's a funeral piece), everyday if I was stranded on a desert island. I was trying to think of something better to listen to, that would still not get boring and I realized I would just write an algorithm on a computer that could compose new songs that would always be changing and always be awesome. They'd probably have to be minimalist electronic music because I imagine it wouldn't work to use real instruments if it was all on computer. I think I could definitely get by on a desert island with a soundtrack like that.

I'm thinking I'm going to try to learn some PD, (pure data). It's a visual-based computer language that lets you do awesome things with music. It might take a while but the possibilities are endless. It would be cool to use a computer as an instrument. They are difficult to learn but their capabilities are stunning, and they can also maintain full performativity which is sweet. For example, I could use a camera capturing my motion on the computer to control the sounds it creates. The best part is that PD is free to download and use and is open source and runs on basically every operating system.

The dreams I'm going to describe from last night both contain similar shocking and graphic violence. You have been warned.

My cat hates it when other cats walk around just outside the back door. They walk by fairly often. We always have to chase them away. In my dream there was one cat outside that I was trying to scare away. My cat was sleeping on the rug by the door and I didn't want her to get upset. I knocked on the door to scare the cat but it did nothing. I then opened the door and barked at it and it ran a short distance away. Then it looked at me with curiosity and walked back to the door. I closed the door but somehow this weird cat ghosts half way through the door so that its front paws and head are inside the house. I'm kind of freaked out but I'm mostly concerned about my cat sleeping right there. I think the other cat might try to attack her. I try to stop the cat somehow and my mom tells me to scratch its eyes. I am completely revolved by the idea of scratching the cats eyes out and do a gross out dance in disgust. Meanwhile my mom gets a small dust brush and starts smacking it across the face to try to get its eyes. I'm still doing the gross out dance.

The second dream was even stranger. I think I was at some amusement park and some huge family comes up to me with their camera and asks me to take a photo of them. They are standing in a group but I can't seem to frame them properly. I feel like I need to move farther back. Somehow I end up shooting them from around a wall and all I get is a picture of the father and his son, which is an awesome picture, just not a full family shot. The details get blurry here for a second but I think that the entire family was killed or something by being shot with guns. I think it was some gangsters. I run into the gangsters nearby and they decide they need to kill me. I have a gun from somewhere, maybe it was theirs, and I try to shoot them. There are only two of them. I think I kill one right away but the other one is difficult. It's because the gun sucks. It shoots large cork bullets which aren't very strong, and the gun isn't very accurate. I'm running from the gangster the whole time and right when he catches up with me I manage to get a good shot right up in his neck. The cork bullet goes in and he is temporarily stunned by the shot. By this point I am standing right next to a waterfall observation deck and I throw the gangster over the railing. He rolls down a chainlink fence roof for a short distance and then disappears over the edge of the cliff. I'm relieved that I took care of the gangsters. Very shortly after that I am suddenly grabbed from behind and it is the gangster. He climbed back up from the bottom and he is wet. I am freaked out because now he is really pissed and he is definitely going to kill me. He is super tough and he has huge muscles. I try attacking him and he basically lets me because he knows I can't hurt him. I punch him in the face several times with what I would consider good hits but he just ignores them. I'm wondering why he's dragging it out. I'm also kind of mad about it. I get him on the ground somehow and start going for his eye. I don't know if he was still letting me do this but I don't think he wanted me too. All I know is I have to kill him before he gets bored of me trying and just kills me. I push my fingers into his upper and lower eyelids on one eye and his eyeball starts bulging out. I can basically rip it out at this point but I don't know if I want to because it is seriously disgusting. I think the dream stopped there.

I know that I've always said I would do anything to defend myself if someone was trying to kill me but now I don't think I could. I have never been so close to taking out someone's eye and it felt very wrong. That kind of hands-on gruesome violence is tough to handle, even in a dream. I hope I never get into a real life or death situation where I have to rip someone's eyeball out.

It Happens So Fast

I took a walk in the park today because it was a beautiful day. It amazes me how quickly nature changes in the spring time. The greens are unbelievably green. It almost has an unnaturalness about it but I think it's just the winter colours that are still in my head. This is spring. Everything is new again and better. I don't think it gets any better than this. To see bright young leaves sprout from the bare branches is a sight that no other season can offer. I intend to get out into the park as often as I can over the next few weeks so I can observe the changes. The plants grow up so fast, before you know it their leaves are turning red again.

I took the example from my cat this afternoon and had a nap in the sun. I just lay down on my hardwood floor with one pillow for my head and fell asleep quite comfortably. The air outside is still cold, but the sun coming through the windows is lovely. I can't think of a way I'd rather sleep. I close my eyes and feel the sun spreading across my face. Maybe that is how plants feel. I can't believe how comforting a burning ball of gas can be. I love the sun.

There was only one dream that I thought was worth remembering today. One of my friends was telling us about his dream and for some reason we were reenacting the whole thing the the dream. There were werewolves in a public washroom and they were making sure that anyone that wasn't a werewolf was made into one. The details are really hazy now, but they were tearing some people to shreds for some reason. When it was my turn I was wondering if it was really so necessary to do such a faithful reenactment and why we were doing it in the first place. I didn't want to get scratched up so I think we skipped that part. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I like the idea of reenacting a dream inside a dream. Any dreams that deal with dreams are kind of cool.

Lastly, I love having awesome secrets. I hate having to keep them to myself but on the other hand they can only get bigger and better if you hold onto them. I recommend finding some for yourself. They will make your life that much more meaningful and exciting.

I'm In Bad Shape

It's all too true. I am not fit. I'm a fat guy in a thin guy's body. I don't get close to enough exercise. Evaluating my priorities I think that exercise is definitely something that I want but for whatever reason I don't get enough. I think it's difficult for me to jump right into a good routine for daily exercise, especially when I'm busy and every day is really different. I'm hoping that with weather warming up I might be more encouraged to get some activity going. I need help with this too. Please suggest playing sports to me if we are trying to figure out what to do. I love playing tennis but I think I would play any sport if the people are fun. I just really need to get back into moving around. I could very easily be one of those 22 year olds that dies from a heart attack. I know I may not look it, but I am probably in some of the worst shape of my life. I blame my super sore back injury on being out of shape too. If I had been in better shape when I had done my mid-air twisting dodgeball throw I'm sure it wouldn't have tweaked my lower back like that. I'm not saying I'm going to get into great shape now, but I am saying I would like to try, and I need help. Exercising alone is not fun most of the time.

I had a strange dream where there was a fairy or something granting people wishes. I think it was actually just some woman who may or may not have had wings. She asked me what I wanted to wish for and I asked what the restrictions were. She said that if I wanted an awesome dance party with all my friends it was probably beyond her power. I was disappointed but realized what I really wanted was some toast with the tastiest spread ever all over it. She said she was out of toast. I was not impressed. I asked her what she suggested I wish for. I can't remember what she said but the whole event reminded me of going to a bad restaurant and then ordering something that sounds great and being told that they can't do that item, and then being told that only the desert menu is still available.

Bottled Water

I would not be surprised if one day they even charged us for 'bottled air'. Oh wait, they already do. It seems like as soon as something is put in a package it gains value and people are willing to pay for it. I really need to get in on this lucrative business. I think the only problem is that they already sell basically every single useless thing you could possibly imagine that you can already get for free. Not only is bottled water a waste of money but also a waste of plastic. Especially in vancouver where the water is already so good. Bottled water frustrates me. I am completely confident that if it did not exist our lives would be better. I'm not sure how or why, but somehow they would be, even if it was only from not having to consider the stupidity of bottled water.

I witnessed an awesome scene on the skytrain the other day. There were two tough looking dudes standing across from me. They both had shaved heads and sunglasses and black clothing. The tougher of the two had a goatee and had tatoos all over his head and down his neck. He was also wearing an ultimate fighting championship hoody. I wouldn't want to mess with him. A few stops after I got on, a young man (say 20ish?) and his mother (say 50ish?) get on the train with their bikes. I stop paying attention to these people for a second and when I turn back the two bald dudes are chatting it up with this kid and his mom. The secret to the conversation? They are all francophones. I thought it was so cool that people that I would never expect to talk to each other were now having a friendly discussion, all because they shared a foreign language. It's amazing how these details can bring people together. I'm very sure that were they in quebec or france they would not be on the same terms. As a minority here however they were able to bond just like that. I found it kind of touching.

I'm writing from my basement right now and seconds earlier I noticed something floating in front of my face. I thought it was a dust ball or something, which wouldn't make too much sense, but I was about to brush it out of the way with my hand. I then focused on it and noticed it was a spider climbing down from the ceiling. It was a bit of a startle. I told it to get out of the way and moved it with a pencil. I lost track of it when I moved it and now its sitting somewhere down here with me. I don't have a big problem with spiders, but I definitely do not like them suddenly appearing right in front of my face. It also makes me realize that it could have very easily landed on my head and I may not have noticed. It's a little bit creepy to think about.

My apple cores were gone today. A victim of spring cleaning. I'll have to start again soon and try to beat my record of three. I challenge anyone else that lives with other people to leave apple cores lying in a communal space and see how long they will sit there. You may be surprised.

Also, this is saturday's post. I just missed getting it in before midnight.

Spring Cleaning

I like everything about the word spring. It's fresh, it's fun, it's warming. But when it hooks up with the word cleaning it just gets bad really fast. I'm not sure what I don't like about spring cleaning so much. Maybe it's the laborious cleaning. Or maybe it's having to go through everything I have shoved to the corners of rooms and tried to ignore. Whatever it is, I am not a fan. I guess I have been assigned bathroom cleaning duty. At least bathrooms are smaller rooms.

While my parents were cleaning out the cupboards in the kitchen they found a 3 litre beer bottle. I'm pretty excited about that. I don't think spring cleaning will get any better than a discovery like that.

To anyone religious, happy good friday. Thanks for the day off. Is this the day Jesus is supposed to have died on?

If you remember the apple core on the bookshelf that I wrote about a few days ago, I now have 3 of them sitting in a line. No one has said anything yet. My new goal is to see how many I can get up there before they get thrown out by someone. With spring cleaning it might be tricky though.

I had a strange dream where I was being tested with a bunch of people, including some friends, for a job testing video games, which is my plan for the summer, only the test made no sense. There were no video games involved. There were small balloons scattered across the floor. I can't remember what I was supposed to do, but I passed the test. As a reward for passing, everyone was given some kind of prize. I got a huge pile of small paper tickets. One of my friends thought it was really ironic because I already had a pile at home. I wasn't so enthusiastic because I realized that they were completely useless. Another friend proposed that everyone that passed should join in a huddle to celebrate our continuing to the next round. We had a huddle just like a football team. That's about it.

I don't have much more to say today, I've been finishing a paper since I finished breakfast. I'm done now. I feel awesome.

Somebody Killed Skytain Etiquette

Imagine a world where lines do not exist. A world where no one cares about you and everyone fends for themselves. A world where there are no rules. Imagine no longer. This is the skytrain. People will slide in front of you before you know what's up. They actually force you to be an asshole if you want to get on the train because if you were polite and waited for someone to let you on, you could be waiting until rush hour is over. I have seen things on the skytrain that I almost refused to believe because they were so blatantly assholish. I don't know what people are thinking, but I lose all respect for someone when they try to slip in front of me at the last second.

I'm not going to say that I'm really badass or anything, but I don't like to let people get away with that stuff so easily. If I'm with anyone else I will usually make a loud comment about how stupid and rude people are, with swears included. If I am at the front of the line I will take my bag off and forcibly block people trying to squeeze past me. I won't look at them, I will act like I don't even see them. They won't say anything. These people are actually cowards. If there is a man that I think has been rude in trying to get on the skytrain I will usually stand really close to them on the train, partly because I have to, partly to bother them. Again, I will not look at them or try to stare them down. I think it's more effective that way. I feel better when I do any of these things. I usually find it funny.

Another thing that I found funny today on the skytrain was this dude listening to music on his headphones. He was totally into it and moving his head around with his eyes closed like he was in a trance. This older woman was watching him and smiling. She must have thought it was nice to see the guy feeling the music so much and so openly. I think she had to be the talkative type because she leaned over to him and asked him what he was listening to. I don't know why she would ask because it seemed like she was too old to appreciate the kind of music this guy's age demographic would generally enjoy, he must have been late 20s, she was probably late 40s. The guy pulls down his headphones just for a second and answers her. In a really normal voice he just says 'The Sound of Children Dying" and then puts the headphones back on. I'm not sure if that is a band or not, but it didn't matter because the look on the woman's face was so funny. I don't know how to describe it. Maybe a mix between disguised shock and regret at having asked the question in the first place. I couldn't look at either of the two for the rest of the train ride because it was too funny.

I've already written a lot so I'm going to only write my favorite dream from last night. It was my brother's birthday, which is actually about 6 months away. My oma (grandma) had made a cake for him. It was weird cake though. It was just a small strip of cake, and it went up in small steps. Someone thought that it wasn't really enough cake. I had to explain that it was a bonus game cake, here's evidence I played too many video games last night. I picked up a pencil and began to demonstrate. With the eraser I tapped each step on the cake from the bottom to the top. When I hit the top step another set of steps rose up out of the plate and I continued tapping those steps. The cake began to grow as I quickly and effectively tapped all the right spots. At a certain point the cake stopped growing and peanut M&Ms started appearing on the top of the cake. I kept going until I realized my time was up and the bonus game was over. I then explained that I unlocked as much of the cake as I could. It is a really bizarre translation of video games in my opinion. My mom said I shouldn't eat any of the cake because I was getting too fat. I agreed, and I didn't care because I didn't really want any cake. I was pretty happy about getting fat though. I have never been able to gain weight and I guess putting on a few pounds was an achievement.

I had some other dreams that made no sense at all so I won't even try to explain them. I think in one I walked into a horror movie trailer by accident somehow and then had to save some little girl from the bad people. It was intense, but I don't think it made sense narratively so I'll leave it at that.

Lastly, my friend showed me the footage today that he got back for his film he shot. It looked really good. He was telling me how his instructor had said that the dailies, the quickly processed shots from the day's shoot are often the most rewarding part of making a film. By that logic we thought it would be cool to make a movie of just dailies. I also thought that it would be cool to shoot short 1 roll films every week and then put them online, without editing them at all. Film just looks good, I think it would be fun to see. The only thing I would be concerned about is the compression getting the videos up online taking away from the awesome film look. I guess they wouldn't have to go online, but the audience would be much smaller. It's just an idea I wanted to get down.

That's all for today, more than enough I think. Actually, I'm wondering if people will read all of this because it is so long and time consuming. Thoughts anyone?

Cloning Isn't As Cool/Terrible As You Might Think

Listening to some people in my bio class today made me think that maybe I should post my rant on cloning. I've only ever said it out loud, usually when someone is doubting whether cloning is such a good idea. A lot of people seem to have problems with the idea of cloning humans. What is the problem? A twin is essentially a clone. In vitro fertilization is essentially cloning. No matter what the movies say babies cannot be grown in tanks of pink or yellow liquids. They need a mother. I don't believe any animals have been cloned without being born from a mother. I wish cloning was as awesome as it is in Star Wars, but it's not. I'm no professional, and I'm certainly not very educated on the subject, but to the best of my understanding to clone a human is actually really boring. The scientists take a dna molecule and then fertilize an egg with it or something. Then they need to plant it in a woman's uterus where it can continue to grow just like every other baby. Maybe people are aware of this when they say human cloning is wrong, and if they are I think they are crazy. If I suddenly found out that I was a clone of someone from the past I really don't think I would care. What's the big ethical dilemma? If we can drive cars and cut down tree to make useless shit and hunt animals to extinction then how could human cloning possibly be so wrong?

A seagull flew over me today and I had to ask myself, if birds were really good at aiming where they pooped would they be pooping on me all the time? I wonder if birds are even aware of where they poop. I always feel like they have some kind of superiority complex feeding animosity towards us ground-dwelling humans and it seems like they would be out to get us in whatever way they can. Whatever it is, I'm glad they either have bad aim or generally don't want to poop on us because life would be a lot grosser if they did.

I came up with an awesome idea last night just before going to bed. Dream betting. The premise is very simple. The participants decide on a particular subject together, generally one that is very bizarre and random. Then each participant tries to be the first person to dream about that particular subject. That person wins the bet and whatever was at stake, say $2 or something. Obviously the honour system is the key here since no one can know if you actually dreamed something or not. That's why low stakes are safer. Subjects could range widely, and there could also be multiple bets going at once, some with higher stakes if they seem more difficult to dream. I think the game would be tons of fun. I wanted to test myself to see if I could dream a bizarre subject on command so last night I focused on 'fighting an albino kangaroo' while lying in bed. Apparently I dream in irony now. Rather than fighting an albino kangaroo in my dream I dreamed about explaining dream betting to my mom, using the example of fighting an albino kangaroo. At least it was on my mind. Before each bet is made, rules should be established for what the acceptable conditions of dreaming the subject are. For example, if I merely observed an albino kangaroo or challenged an albino kangaroo to a fight but it declined these would not be bet winning conditions. I intend to start dream betting as soon as I find willing participants.

I also had a dream that I was in a video game with my brother. I guess it was a video game because we had objectives and stuff but we were doing everything in real life. We had hijacked or were going to hijack some important technology from UBC and were trying to stay ahead of the authorities, driving down a highway that was supposed to be around UBC but did not look much like it. It looked more like a generic racing game highway, or maybe Richmond. I don't really remember much else.

I figured out this morning that one of my dream collection strategies is that if I wake up without anything to remember I just go back to sleep and get some new dreams. I couldn't do it this morning at all because I had to get up early and leave, thus the lack of detailed dreams.

Lastly, Simon and Edgar, if you are reading this, please consider a trilogy because Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz are so good.

I'm No Word Processing Expert

I was writing a paper for school today and not having an especially great time. I was doing what I could to procrastinate every five/ten minutes, but I think I was making some good progress. Then, all of a sudden I notice something I want to change just a sentence earlier. I click and go back. Then I start typing, expecting the text to move to make room for what I am adding. No such luck. It's just writing over what I had before, each letter I type eats the next one in line. This is no good. Now normally I know just what to do, hit the insert button and I'm good again. I'm not sure how the problem started in the first place, but when I look at the keyboard I notice there is no insert button. In its place is a 'help' button. I can tell you, pushing that button certainly did not help. I tried tons of button combinations. I scoured the word menus several times, and then again. I asked the help menu that popped up when I pushed the help button. I searched google with the only words I knew, insert delete word. I found a forum discussing a problem similar to mine, but still it took some time before I could figure it out. Maybe I was just not thinking properly at the time, or maybe this stupid keyboard should have an insert button, but it must have wasted at least 20 minutes of my time. I didn't really talk about the time I spent just sitting there swearing, but it was considerable. I like to think I'm good with computers, but this is a bit of a blow to my ego. Oh well, it's only word.

To further my frustration today, I still had no running water for a long time. I felt pretty gross. No shower, no washing my hands in fresh running water. It was not enjoyable. I decided the day would just be a bad day, I would be unclean, I would wear sweatpants, I would not leave the house, and I would work on my paper. I think the worst part was having clammy hands from not being able to wash them properly. I got into a bit of a cranky mood. I haven't written a paper in a while, so it could have been that too. When we got the water back around 5 and I had a shower a little later I felt like a billion dollars again. I know I will cherish this water for at least a few days now before I go back to simply finding it useful. Sorry about my bitching about the no water. You could always use it vicariously to better appreciate the amazing plumbing that I'm sure you're enjoying right now.

There's a magazine sitting on a shelf here and I just read the cover the other day. It said 'The Running Issue". I was really confused by that. It showed a picture of a middle aged woman smiling and jogging. She didn't look like anything was wrong. I couldn't figure out what the issue was with running, I figured it was probably hard on people's knees. Today I had the epiphany that 'issue' was actually referring to the magazine, not a problem. Everything came together for me. I'll admit I feel a little bit stupid for making a mistake like that, but consider this as well: maybe I'm just so used to the media presenting negative stories that I immediately assumed it was another one of those. You have to agree, the news is almost always bad.

Dream time, two funny stories, though I'm sure there were more. I had a really fast flashback eating dinner tonight but it was gone again like that. I wish I could get a fuller outline of the night's dreams sometime.

The first dream, I am hanging out with my friend who is currently at school in Ontario. We often play sports together and go on bike rides when he's around. In my dream he's back here in Vancouver and we decide to go roller blading. I never roller blade, which is probably why my understanding of it in the dream is so mixed up, though it is also strange that I would dream about it in the first place. I have some old roller blades in a closet so I pull them out and we go. We're going off road a lot through a forest trail. I remember being surprised how easy the ride is going over mulch and gravel and dirt and everything you could find in a forest. I'm not gliding too much, most of it feels like walking, but walking like I am pretending to roller blade. I get worried about a few steep parts but everything goes fine. We get back to my place and then we decide to go play tennis. My brother is going to join us. My brother and I are both going to play against my friend, and we are going to wear roller blades while doing it. Nothing seems strange about this, it's basically the same as roller hockey or something like that as far as we're concerned. We start to go but then realize my roller blades are sucking. The wheels are all deformed and flat. I pull the whole thing apart and the wheels turn out to be really cheap and hollow plastic. I wonder how I had been riding on them before and figure out that I was actually just mostly walking the whole time. I try to put the roller blades back together but give up because they are cheap anyways and old and they won't work anymore.

The other dream, I'm at Red Robin's with a couple of friends for lunch. We order burgers and are sitting around eating and talking. When we finish we stay there and keep getting bottom orange crush refills and bottomless fries refills. There must have been some time lapse somewhere because before too long I notice it is around 8pm already. We've been there all afternoon and now it is later evening. I suddenly notice two servers standing nearby watching us anxiously. I suddenly realize they want us to leave because we have been there forever and they haven't been making any more money from us eating and drinking on free refills. I tell my friends we should go so we get the bill. I pay in cash and though I don't think it actually was a great tip, both me and the server think it is a generous tip. There's a nickel sitting on the table for some reason and she doesn't want it because its not very much and she is getting a good tip anyways, so she gives the nickel to me. I put it in my mouth and test it with my teeth. I'm getting ready to swallow it because that is what I do with small change. I don't want it taking up space in my wallet. Then the server says she doesn't think I should swallow it. I was thinking the same thing because I was very familiar with the sensation of swallowing nickels and it is not pleasant so I pull it out of my mouth and put it in my wallet after all. Oh well, I just couldn't go through with swallowing another nickel. After everything I ate, I think the nickel is the only thing I actually tasted.

I'm Playing a 19th Century French General...

On my way home today I was discussing huge ideas about the world with my friend on transit. While repeating the discussion here would not do it justice because we covered so much, we did briefly touch upon the idea of recording the conversation. I thought the easiest way to do it would be to type it out in an online chat perhaps so that we could pick our words more carefully, while also instantly creating a textual record of our thoughts. We could just copy and paste the discussion and other people could read it if they wanted. I don't know. I'm sure people do that already, but I was just thinking it might be worth joining them.

I think I'm starting a new habit. I eat apples while I'm at the computer and then I leave the core on the bookshelf. Someone else always throws it out, but I rarely hear about it. I know my parents have left apple cores lying around in the past, so its not a big deal. I think I'm going to keep doing it until someone makes a point of really being annoyed by it, if that ever happens. It could just become a habit of the others to throw it out. That would be an interesting experiment. Like the straw that never broke the camel's back, despite the straw being annoying.

I'm going to add right here that I hate it when I have a bunch of awesome things to write down here and then lose a bunch just before writing them. That is happening now.

In dreams, here's a funny one. In reality there is a show called Prank Patrol on YTV where they basically help kids pull sweet pranks. Anyways, in my dream I have applied to be on Prank Patrol and I get accepted to do a show. I don't think I actually applied, but somehow my name comes up and I am doing it anyways. I don't think I choose the prank I get to do though because it is really unusual and I never would have thought it up, although I did in fact dream it up. I skip over all the planning in my dream and it goes straight to the prank. I'm watching it happen on TV when it does, kind of strange organization of events. I think I may have been watching it there on TV but I think the prank was also happening right then, so I was two people? Anyways, I am dressed up as a 19th century French general and I am doing a play on stage in the prank. I'm in the middle of a monologue in French. I notice watching it on TV that I don't have my mustache and I guess that I must have shaved it off for the prank, but I don't care, it's more just an observation. I finish the monologue and pull a really fancy pistol/musket from my side. It has a whole bunch of switches and triggers and it's covered in gold in places. I start holding it in a really flamboyantly gay way and then I pull the trigger in the same fashion, pointing the gun at the crowd. The prank starts now when a member of the audience pretends to get shot. Everyone in the audience freaks out and scramble to leave the theatre. It's actually a really dumb prank. I don't think anyone was really thinking that it would be good, but it was done anyways. I don't even know who's idea it was. Like I said, the planning stage was completely skipped in my dream. Apparently there were tons of little kids at the play when the prank was done and they were all terrified. Later I'm standing around and all the kids are coming up to me one at a time and telling me how much they liked the performance after they got over the fake shooting. The kids must be about 5 or 6 but they are telling me that they think I am an amazing actor and they can imagine that I will do great things. I think that's all that happened in the dream. It is possibly one of the strangest and most bizarre dream I have had recently. It's too bad I don't have a picture of me dressed up as a 19th century French general holding that weird gun because it looked hilarious.

During my solo bus time coming home I thought up a new idea that I'm excited about. I can't actually share it, perhaps never. I am writing it here more for a record than anything else. All I will say is that I hope people like it.

Lastly, Ericsson, if you're reading this, I think my dull but persistent headache is the worst physical pain of the day. I got off easy for sure.

I Really Like Water

You probably really like water too. You might just not realize it. My house has no water for a few days which I can say is a really sucky thing. It's kind of like camping, only not fun. I can't bathe, I can't drink from the tap, and I have to manually flush the toilets. I am not happy about it. I realize that many people do not have the luxuries of running water, but the thing is that I am very used to them, and not having that regularity is a big deal for me. I love water. I can't wait until it comes back.

Today I had around 10 eggs for breakfast. They were scrambled up with all sorts of delicious foods such as mushroom, tomato, spinach, onion, sausage, bacon, marinara sauce, and olives. I don't think I would have it again, but I'm glad that I did. It was an experience.

I had some funny dreams last night too.

The first one was a continuation of the party that we had just had in my friend's house. We were all still sitting around and the door was open. Some young wanna-be-gangster kids came into the party and starting acting like idiots. I was wondering why they were there because they were young, I didn't know them, and they seemed like people I would not like. I guess one of them started dancing. I noticed a few that were just outside that were looking kind of shady. They were up to something, I wasn't sure exactly what. Apparently they had just come by to use the bathroom. I told them that if they expected to use a stranger's bathroom they should be on their best behavior and definitely not vandalize the front yard. They were rude and insolent. I went outside and started yelling at them, using the word 'fuck' very often. I was really angry that these punk kids were causing trouble at my friend's house while he was having a party. I told them to leave, and to make sure they understood me I was carrying a landscaping sandbag around really menacingly while addressing them. I really wanted to hit them but I knew it wouldn't help much.

Another part of the dream we were driving around downtown I think, or walking. One of my friends really wanted a veggie burrito with bean sprouts and beans. He said he knew an awesome place. His description had me visualizing the burrito and I realized I really wanted one too. He navigated us through a sketchy alley and we found our way into a surprisingly busy restaurant/pub place. We got a table and it seemed like we immediately all had beers. Someone handed me one and I wondered who was paying for it. I initially thought that my friends had ordered it but then I found out that another table had bought us the drinks. I was trying to figure out what table had bought us drinks. I thought for sure it was the table of loud people that were probably getting drunk. Someone pointed to the actual table that bought us the drinks. All the people were wearing yellow uniforms. They were a baseball team. The players may have been changing because at one point I thought they were all kids and later I thought it was weird that there were 40 and 50 year olds on a kids team. It turned out that it had just been one girl that had bought us all drinks. I was really confused because she looked like she was probably only 16 and way too young to try to pick up me and my friends, but I don't think she was really interested in us that way. I couldn't understand her motives at all.

The only other part of a dream that I can assemble here in some sense is when I used my friend's bathroom. I think I made #2, and then flushed. My friends came in when I opened the door and they noticed poo in the bottom of the sink. I swore that I had not pooped in the sink. I realized that it was a problem with the plumbing from when I had flushed the toilet. The poo had just come back up through the sink pipe.

After I woke up I was joking about the dream with the 16 year-old girl buying us drinks with my friends and we started to wonder if it would actually be possible for someone underage to buy drinks for another table. They would never have contact with the alcohol so it makes sense logically. BC is a stupid place though when it comes to alcohol. So many dumb laws an regulations. If I was underage I would definitely try buying a drink for another table. I think it would be funny.

It Was Much Lamer Back Then

Last night I asked a friend a fairly random question. I asked "if you were alive 500 years ago, what do you think you'd want to be?" He said he would want to be an artist for sure. But then we talked about it and artists really didn't have it very good back then. They were mostly working for the church, and they couldn't do anything radical. They also relied on the patronage of the wealthy, there was no public art-sphere in existence. So what would be the best thing to do 500 years ago? I think being royalty would really be the only thing you could aspire to, even though if you weren't already you'd have no chance at it. Sure, you could follow your interests, but at a certain point it might interfere with someone important and they'd have you shut down. I think that society has at least become much more hospitable for a greater range of people, if only slightly. I'm not sure what I'm getting at but in conclusion it would suck to have lived 500 years ago.

I was thinking the other day that I'm posting a lot of ideas here and anyone could just come along and steal them, even the bad ones. Then I realized that every time I post it gets stamped with a date and probably goes into some database. Maybe a blog is an ideal place to post ideas because it can be accessed by everyone but still keeps it under your name. I'm totally fine though if people want to use my ideas. It would just not be so awesome if someone took something, called it their own and made tons of money from it, not to say that I'm a genious pool of invention or anything.

On the dream front I kind of didn't bother to remember them because they were all just about socializing and dealing with the same problems I deal with in real life, which I wouldn't bother talking about anyways and probably aren't very interesting for the most part.

Ericsson, if you're reading this my back hurts a lot. I did something to it again in dodgeball. This kind of injury makes me realize how frail our bodies really are. It doesn't take too much to wreck yourself.

Buffets always seem like a great idea before and even during, but after, when the regret builds up with the over-eating it definitely is not so appealing anymore. Please do not suggest going to do buffets with me. I love them, but I always regret them. Eating too much is a weakness of mine. I can't stop. The worst part about buffets is when you pay afterwards and you really don't think it was worth it. I'd rather pay the same amount for less food and not feel sick afterwards.

That's the best I can do for this saturday.

Dream Appropriation

I woke up several times in the night and had only a half-second of awareness of my dreams before they instantly faded. This sucks especially because one time after waking up I felt like something really exciting had happened, like maybe something to do with a giant monster. I wish I could remember that. I was pretty happy when I finally got up this morning to have some recollection of my most recent dreams. Most of the details are difficult to tie together, but I found a lot of amusing stuff that happened.

I'm pretty sure I was at a party with a smaller group of my friends. Either that, or we were getting ready to go for dinner or a party or something, but there was a group of us in a house that I don't think I've ever been to. All of the events that I can remember took place in here.

The first event that I want to mention strikes me as hilarious. As I said a few days ago, my friend Mitch has started a dream blog and I have been reading it daily because dreams are really cool to read. I was reading his most recent dream last night and in one part he had a dream that he was eating meat, which upset him because he has been a vegetarian for a year. He's also mentioned that he's had these kind of dreams to me before too. He'll just be eating something in his dream and then all of a sudden he realizes it is meat and he wonders how the hell he started eating meat without knowing it. Enter my hilarious dream... I'm sitting next to Mitch at a table at this party thing and there is a bowl of what looks like pieces of bacon in it. Next thing I know Mitch reaches for a piece and pops it in his mouth. I remember watching with curiosity, not wanting to interrupt his action immediately. After a few seconds I say to him "Hey Mitch, way to eat bacon", I think I was happy about it for him. He turns and looks at me with surprise. "This isn't bacon, it's ______." I can't remember what he thought it was, but I didn't think it was that. "I'm pretty sure it's bacon, let me try some." I take a piece and eat it. It definitely is bacon. "Yeah, this is bacon." He pulls out as much of the bacon from his mouth that he can, and I wonder if he ingested any of it and whether that's a big deal. I say that I think it is hilarious that he keeps dreaming about eating meat without knowing it and now he has done it in real life somehow. He isn't very happy. I can't remember, but I get the feeling that he might have just said 'whatever' and eaten more anyways. I think I was happy about it.

Another part of my dream I am sitting next to my friend from high school on a couch. He is a pretty big guy, tall and solid, not fat though. He is explaining that no one ever calls him tall anymore, they all call him wide, which is actually a compliment because it is referring to his wide shoulders. I mention with some regret that I am only called tall still, never wide. I'm disappointed.

I guess the party hasn't really started yet in the dream, but we are all kind of getting ready. I'm drinking beers. For some reason every time I pay attention to my beers I seem to have more opened. I'm thinking that I probably shouldn't keep opening beers. At one point there are more uncapped bottles than capped bottles and I'm not happy because it was stupid to open more than one at a time. I don't even know where all the beer is coming from. I'm trying to finish the one I'm holding before we leave and everyone is waiting on me. I'm trying to chug it as fast as I can but I realize that I will definitely need to pee before we leave because of all the liquid. I feel bad that I will hold everyone up even more and I'm afraid they might lose patience.

The other things that I remember are showing off the music I made last night to everyone. I am saying how awesome it is and people are generally agreeing I think. Some of my friends are going to do a bunch of drugs before we leave, and they are outside downstairs doing that. Some people are just getting ready to go out to join them and I think it is funny because they don't really do drugs but they seem really casual about it.

I also have to keep a secret in my dream and I keep getting really close to letting things slip at the wrong times. I'm good at keeping personal secrets but when it's about awesome things I can sometimes forget about not talking about them. I always feel under pressure when I am made privy to that kind of confidential information.

I know I dreamed about way more, but this is all I can remember solidly enough to write about. It's still the morning and considering I wrote my other post late last night I don't really have anything but dreams to report for now.

They'd Have No Choice

While crossing the street this morning there was a car that was kind of coming my way but I thought to myself that I was far enough to the side that it could move around me. Then I thought about the other two people that I could hear talking somewhere behind me. I realized that if they were in the middle of the road when the car was right there, the might actually swerve into me. In this case, killing me would be the lesser of two evils. I think having to die so that more people don't have to die is a pretty lame way to die. Especially if it's something stupid like crossing the street. If you give your life to save people that is entirely different. This would be out of your hands and you would just get killed because the only alternative would be killing more other people. The funny thing is that I was in a great mood this morning when I thought the whole thing up.

Regarding dreams, I recalled absolutely nothing this morning. It was strange. Normally I have quite a bit but lately it has been getting less and less that I can remember. I was packing my tiffin later this morning, my metal, multi-part food container that I fill with indian food at the market, and I suddenly had a feeling of relief that I had my tiffin. Then I suddenly had a flashback to my dream where I had forgotten my tiffin at home and it was thursday, and I always bring my tiffin on thursdays, and it was also tiffin thursday, which is when I get a discount. I remember I was really upset and I think I was shouting "Noooooo!".

I may have also dreamed that I was speaking with an accent a lot. I'm not sure though because I've been doing it in real life a bit too, but I seem to recall doing it more than I usually do. I think it was Scottish.

This may be my one month aniversary for the blog. That is some thirty posts now. It is crazy to think that if I can stick with my original challenge I will have 365 posts in another 11 months. That's enough for a book, not that this is really worth publishing.

I went with only 1 meal for today again. Until I got home. Then I made myself a burger and then I made a 3 egg omelette with sausage and fries. I'm still kind of hungry. I am impressed that I did manage to go that long without food and I felt alright after a while. I'm learning that I can push my body much further than I thought I could, in terms of food and sleep at least. It's probably not good for my health, but I still feel great emotionally and I think that is the most important thing.

This is actually my post for wednesday...

I think it's probably going to say thursday but it's really still wednesday. I haven't had a real chance to write anything yet, so here it is. I have a list of things that I wanted to remember.

Firstly, this is kind of on the same vein as the stranger that came to my house. Yesterday, I got a phone call. It was the usual, "hello?... hello?... hel-lo?..." call. The kind that really annoys me where no one answers. But this time I heard someone on the other line. It sounded like a woman. The only words I heard this person speak were kind of an exasperated "oh god". Then they hung up. I thought it was funny.

I had a dream last night that I only just remembered today in class. I was in class and the instructor was asking us to compare art and something else. She called on me to make some points. I stated very clearly that I didn't really believe art was real, and there was no such thing as art that I could accurately compare with something else. She told me to just do it anyways. I repeated that there was no such thing as art. Then she gave up on me and asked someone else to ignore me. I felt frustrated that my opinion had been overlooked so quickly.

While walking downtown today I came up with a fun game for 1 or more people. Look at a random stranger and imagine them cast in a movie. They only have one line that they say, and it has to be the funniest line they could possibly deliver. Imagine that line, and imagine them saying it. Then smile to yourself, or if you are so clever, perhaps even laugh softly, being careful not to laugh at the stranger. Some people are easier than others, but all of them can be fun. It's also a good challenge and can even be a competition when you play with your friends. It would be really cool to actually shoot 5 second movies with all the people saying their lines, if you could convince them to perform.

I don't like crossword puzzles. They make me feel like I don't know very much, which I'm sure isn't too far from the truth. But the truth can hurt. I also don't like the way that if everyone does their puzzle correctly they will all be exactly the same. It just seems so mindless, especially when words can be so exciting and creative. That's why I came up with a much more satisfying way to do crossword puzzles today. Basically write in whatever you want into the crossword to create some kind of message reading from left to right. Don't worry about reading it vertically. To make it a challenge, make every word fit the spaces perfectly. It could be a new form of poetry or something. I think my favorite part about this is that you could leave it in a public place where someone is likely to pick it up, and they might have a look at it, and then they would realize that it was all wrong, and then they would realize that it didn't matter because it was saying something else entirely, and then it might change their day. That would be exciting. I'd love to find a crossword poem lying around somewhere. I think I first got the idea when I only filled in one really stupid answer, correct nonetheless, in a crossword I found on a table at school and imagined someone else finding it and wondering if out of all the words that was the only one I could figure out. I thought it would be an amusing discovery. And then I thought of crossword poetry, and I think that's much more interesting.

Does This Look Like the Right House?

I knew that if I waited a bit I'd get something good to write about today. Sure enough I was right. Just minutes earlier the doorbell was ringing. I was making music in my studio so I had to go run and get it. I was wondering who would be calling at this time of day, late afternoon. If it was someone I knew they probably would have called first. I thought it might be the mail-person with my record, but it seemed too late in the day. I looked out the window before opening the door, just to see if it might be some religious person trying to convert me or someone selling some other idea that I don't want to invest myself in. All I could see was a purse, which didn't seem like it fit any of those people, so I went ahead and opened the door.

Here's this asian woman right outside with a big smile on her face. She says "Hello!" in an enthusiastic friendly voice. She makes a move to come in. I'm thinking 'what is going on?'. Am I supposed to be expecting this person that I have never before seen? Then I guess she held back for a second, I hadn't made any moves to welcome her in, and she may have been starting to notice that I was tall and white and very not-asian. "Is Muriel here?" she asks, her enthusiasm still surprisingly strong. "No" I say. Then she picks up her small paper note and reads it again, which she should have done before she rang my doorbell. She realized it was the house next door that she wanted and apologized and left. She had the wrong house. The funniest thing is that she actually made a move to come in, despite my appearance. Way funnier than a wrong phone number.

I dreamed about dodgeball last night. At one point I was on a luxery cruise ship playing dodgeball. It was a massive game, probably at least 100 people. One side was coming down a huge staircase and the other team was in an arena that closely resembled the arena in Attack of the Clones. It was chaos, but it was also pretty sweet. I also played manhunt on the cruise ship which was really fun. Playing dodgeball in a gym later I made a succession of terrible shots. I couldn't believe how much I sucked. I was even worse than in real life. I also had a dream that I was with friends and we were all looking at velour sweaters. I find that very amusing.

VS and Brutal Anonymity

I was thinking about waiting until later to write my post for today because I don't really have anything very interesting to report. Then I remembered that I just like my posts to be interesting but my primary goal is to just write something down everyday. This is all I have.

While joking with a friend about asking people who was more shallow between the two of us we somehow developed the idea to start a website, possibly a blog, in which we put our friends against each other head-to-head in polls deciding who is more something. For example, who is more intelligent, who is more polite, who is more fun. We could tell all of our friends to vote anonymously to reveal which friend is preferred in certain circumstances. It is really a harsh thing to do, but I don't think it would need to be malicious. Obviously people aren't all the same when it comes to abilities and personality traits. I feel like a bit of a jerk suggesting it, but it might be a fun thing to do. We'll see I guess. I wonder if people would be comfortable making such judgments even with the cover of internet anonymity.

I got the new smash brothers game yesterday, the day it came out. It is really good. I'm actually glad that I have so many other things that I need to/want to do because I can see myself wasting a large amount of time playing this game. I still haven't finished the new mario or metroid games yet either. My hours are building up but fortunately no one cares whether or not I actually finish the games. It will happen eventually but there's no rush. Smash Brothers is great though.

I've been having problems recording vocals for my newest song because I am not a great singer and I can't figure out what to do to make it sound the best it can. I tried a new vocal style today so I'll have to see what people think when they hear it. I'm still not totally happy with it.

Inexplicable Nighttime Events

I still haven't gotten over this, and I'm not sure that I ever will.

I went to bed early last night around 11:30 because I was running on only 3 hours of sleep from the night before and I had to wake up early for another day of shooting a film. I tried calling my friend to find out what the plan was because he was going to pick me up in the morning. I couldn't get through so I just texted him and told him to text me back as soon as he could with details. I figured I would wake up as soon as I got the message and then I could set my alarm appropriately. So I go to sleep.

In my dream I started to think, "maybe I should check to see if I got that message yet". Then I'm not sure what happened. Dream and reality collided at some point but I can't figure out where to draw the line. I suddenly woke up with my eyes open. Then about 2 seconds later my phone went off and I checked it. It was the details for when I would be picked up. I set my alarm. I checked the clock and it was 2:30. I remember thinking how incredibly strange that I had woken up just moments before the message came through, especially since 2:30 is a pretty strange time to wake up like that for no reason. I go back to sleep.

In my dream I tell some friends about how crazy it was that I woke up just before the phone went off. I'm basically repeating the above paragraph to everyone in my dream. I think in my dream I may have realized how coincidental it really was and maybe I had been dreaming the whole thing. I couldn't actually be sure anymore.

When I woke up I was thoroughly puzzled by the events. I wondered if it had actually happened. The thing is, my alarm was all set properly, and I only remember setting it once, right after I got the message, so I'm pretty sure that I didn't dream that. I checked the time that I had received the message at, and it was actually 1:30, not 2:30 like I had thought before. This caused me to question everything again. If it wasn't all very strange already, I learned early this morning that it was actually daylight savings time. So my 2:30 time was the correct time of the message, my phone just hadn't changed the clock yet. So what happened? Did I misread the clock when I woke up? I was very sure it was 2:30 until I checked the time on the message later. Did my phone's clock change times a couple times in the night? I doubt it. Did I dream 2:30? That would mean I accurately dreamed the time, even accounting for the daylight savings change that I was not even aware of at the time? Everything about the night seems very coincidental. I don't know. Bizarre.

Since anything more I write in this post for today will sound pretty normal and probably boring I'm just going to say that's it.

An Idea for a Mockumentary

I was thinking it would be called something like "My Afterlife as a Ghost and an Asshole". It would be the story of a ghost who is an asshole to people. The ghost would be able to guide the audience through the house and demonstrate all the nasty things it does to the residents. The camera would also be treated as a ghost in these parts, so all the living people would be completely unaware of what was going on but the ghost and camera would be there in secret. The people would only become aware of the movie when they were interviewed by the camera. I'm not sure where the movie would lead but I just like the idea of having most of the people completely unaware of one character messing with them just for the camera and the audience. Maybe it's a bad idea but now that it is written down here I won't forget it.

I often worry about forgetting to flush the toilet when I am at other people's houses. It would be really embarrassing to leave something disgusting in someone else's bathroom, or in any bathroom for that matter. I'm not sure if I ever forget to flush the toilet but nonetheless I find myself double-checking sometimes just to be on the safe side.

My friend Mitch started a blog this week that is about his dreams every night. It is really fun to read. I guess I wrote about parts of dreams in some posts before, but reading his blog makes me want to focus on my dreams more. It sounds like since he started he has been able to remember his dreams more clearly, which is sweet. I think I normally have really fun dreams. I haven't had a chance to recall my dreams for the past few days but I think I'd like to make more of an effort. I don't think I'll write exclusively about dreams, but I may try to include it as a daily part of my posts.

Team Unicycle

I was taking the bus into school today. I was just crossing Kingsway heading into Joyce station when I noticed two unicyclers crossing the intersection. I figured that they were coming back from 7-11 across the street because they each had a slurpy and identical bags hanging from their sides which I assumed were candy. The first thing that struck me was their confidence unicycling across a busy street. They seemed to be chatting it up and their slurpies made the whole thing really casual. I was impressed, but thought they were a little foolish with their helmets not strapped on properly.

The hill on that street gets pretty steep after crossing Kingsway and I was wondering how they would deal with it. They already seemed so relaxed but I didn't think they'd be able to handle the steepness. They appeared to be going down fine at first. These kids couldn't have been more than 17 from what I could see. Here they are starting down this steep hill and all of a sudden one of them loses control. Their balance was thrown off momentarily. Through some fluky accident the guy starts to flail and somehow manages to fling his slurpy out into the street.

I couldn't see too clearly from where the bus was waiting but I'm pretty sure the slurp hit a car that was waiting at the light. The driver had just half opened his door and was starting to get out when the light changed and cars started honking behind him. The one unicycler had recovered his balance by then and both of them looked like they were ready to run for it. The driver didn't have any choice so he had to take off with the rest of traffic and the unicylers started back up on their single wheels and continued along their way. At this point I was quite amused and looked around and the other passengers on the bus, wearing an obvious smirk. No one else seemed to have noticed though and I was really disappointed. I consider myself very fortunate to have witnessed such a fluky event but it is sad that more people weren't able to get in on the excitement. It was great.

Having a Super Day

I'm super fried right now because I only had 3 and some hours of sleep the other night and I still need to write an essay proposal but I have to say I feel amazing. I know sleep deprivation is sometimes used as torture but I think it's only torture when you have bad company and you are locked in a cold prison cell. That hasn't been the case for me though. I feel so buzzed and really happy. I feel better than usual despite the lack of sleep. I think the only thing suffering is my problem solving skills. For one, I sucked at scrabble today. I'm not good at the game anyways, and I don't much like it, but I really had a tough time focusing on the words. Even now, sitting here and typing, I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting everything I was thinking of saying.

Possibly one of the best surprises today, and there were several I guess, was checking my emails when I got home and being informed that I had won a record. Some blog on local music had a contest and all I had to do was send an email with the contest in the subject. So I did that, and I won it. Now I've got a 12" vinyl coming in the mail. And I can't think of anything cooler to get in the mail right now. Try to beat that. I have no idea who the band is, or what it will sound like, or what I will do with the record, but I am excited about it. The lesson here is always enter contests when you have nothing to lose.

I was also really surprised when I realized I only had one meal until 10 tonight, when I got home and ravaged the beans, sausages, and asparagus that were left-over. I think my lunch meal was placed perfectly in some sweet time slot so that I was not hungry for the largest amount of time possible.

I honestly can't really think anymore right now. That is all I can do for today. I can't wait for bedtime.

Everything is Tainted

I walked to the library this beautiful day to pick up a couple of cds that I had on reserve. The library is super close which was useful when I had about 15 cds on reserve at once one time and had to make several trips in a row because they only let me take five out at a time. I left around 12, which I guess is lunch time. The fastest route to the library cuts through an elementary school field and because of the time all the kids were out on break playing. I always feel kind of weird going through large groups of small children because I remember when I was that size we were always cautious of older people. I'm obviously not dressed in a trench coat or anything but I still feel like maybe I shouldn't be walking through the school area when all the kids are playing mostly unsupervised. I make an effort not to pay attention to the children and walk around the large groups.

I made it to the library alright and picked up my cds. I got the new Stars album and an old White Stripes album, White Blood Cells. One of the dudes working at the library noticed and made a comment of approval about the White Stripes. I'm not really a fan of the White Stripes so I just nodded. Then I left.

I was walking back across the school field and now there were several soccer games going. I usually watch the kids play soccer while I'm walking by so that I don't get hit by the ball and also because it is sometimes entertaining. I make it through the first game without incident, witnessing an impressive goalie kick considering the size of the goalie. I'm getting closer to the second game and the action is looking like its going to intercept me on my path. I don't want to go around or wait so I just take my chance and go for it, maybe there will be a turnover or something. There isn't. I'm right in the middle of it when one of the kids makes a break for it and kicks the ball out front. He's running towards me and the ball is between us. I don't have time to get out of the way so I just dodge his kick at the last second. He kicked it pretty hard. I turn to watch the ball and right there maybe two metres behind me some small kid gets smoked in the face. The kid is down and almost immediately starts to cry. I know kids have a predisposition to cry, but to be fair it was a nasty hit.

Most of the kids nearby stop playing and wander over to watch. I had stopped walking since the kick and I'm not sure if I should just leave. On the one hand I don't want to abandon someone in pain, but then its also not my responsibility and I don't want to be a creepy stranger talking to little school children. I'm trying to figure out what to do and then I notice that most of the kids are looking at me, like its my fault or something, or maybe they're waiting for me to do something. I started feeling pretty uncomfortable. I was about to say something but then I didn't and I left. I could hear the kid still sobbing lightly as I walked away but there was nothing I could do. I'm sure he was fine, but I still feel bad about it. What could I do? I guess if it was a real emergency I could have stepped in, but it wasn't. Everything is tainted.

Music Store Showdown

I was at the music store. I went to look at bass amps but as usual I was browsing everything. There was some older dude with long black hair in a pony tail playing lounge-type guitar music. Those kind of guys always seem to be there, just playing and showing off and providing a good vibe for the store. Anyways, there were some kids there who must have been renting band equipment or something and they were watching the guy play. When he finished a song they clapped. I noticed a tattooed guy with a shaved head watching too. He didn't seem too impressed though.

I was over in the PA section of the store when I heard it start. The bald dude had plugged in a guitar and was starting to shred pretty hard and was drowning out ponytail's lounge garbage. I thought that was pretty sweet, though I'm not really a fan of shredding. Then I hear a second guitar start shredding. I look over and there's ponytail fighting back with some licks of his own. Apparently he was a master of several styles. Both of them are being reasonably loud and many of the other shoppers are wandering over to watch. I'm wondering if the employees are going to say anything but I notice a few of them standing to the side grinning and watching contentedly.

The battle is getting pretty good, baldy and ponytail are kind of taking turns now trying to show each other up as soon as they get a chance. Then one employee comes marching in and I think he's going to shut them down. But he doesn't. He grabs a guitar too and plugs it in. Now there's three of them going at it. I think it was baldy that first turned up his volume to try to come out on top of the sonic battle field. The other two follow and the show is suddenly really loud. Some people watching start plugging their ears and moving away a bit. The employee is killing the other two. He's one of those heavy metal dudes that never made it and decided to sell guitars instead. In the field of shredding he is unmatched. The other guys can't be serious about shredding in the same way.

Baldy realizes he's being shown up and cranks up his amp a bit to compensate. Things are getting intense and ponytail can admit that he can't compete and he bows out, literally. The employee has to boost his amp now to keep up. He made the mistake of choosing a smaller amp, so he really has to max out to keep up with baldy's huge amp. So they're going for a few bars and baldy is choking bad. Suddenly there are some crackling noises. The employee's amp is sparking and starts to smoke. He notices pretty quickly and pops the power off. Baldy seems kind of sheepish now and turns off his amp too. Now there's just the employee guy there looking at his smoking amp. It seemed like a good time to wander over to another part of the store to look at something else. The show was over.

The Dump

I went to the dump the other day. I was helping someone move a bunch of construction garbage from their backyard. So the dump is actually really gross. We drove into the big dumping room which is basically a warehouse with a pit at the centre where everyone piles their garbage. They actually tell you to stay 6 feet away from the edge and just drop your stuff right there. They have a small bulldozer type thing that pushes everything down into the pit afterwards. There is also a giant bulldozer that drives around in the pit and moves stuff and crushes it. The whole place smelled terrible and the ground was coated in muddy garbage scum. Imagine living in your garbage can, that is what it was like, although I got used to the smell after a while which was kind of scary.

We're pulling all these pieces of wood and stuff out of the car and throwing it down and we have a huge pile going. There was a glass window near the bottom of the pile in the back of the car and when we tried to pull it out it was already cracked. The whole thing just crashed to pieces when we tried to lift it. There were bits of glass everywhere. Fortunately many pieces of sharp broken glass are not a problem in that place. No one said anything so we just threw all the pieces out of the car and onto the ground, breaking them even more. It was a mess.

Then we had some large flat sheets of wood at the bottom of the pile. They were really light. I was trying to throw them to the side because the pile we had right in front of us was starting to slide towards us. The sheets that I threw would almost glide for a few seconds when they were thrown and I was kind of worried that they might fly over the edge into the pit. Then that was exactly what happened. I threw a big sheet and the angle that I projected it at caused it to shoot up a bit and it drifted right down to the pit. It probably wouldn't have been a problem except for that the big bulldozer happened to be driving by right there at that moment. The sheet of wood hit the top of it. I was pretty nervous about it. One of the attendants came over quickly and told me to be more careful. I apologized and went back to emptying the car.

That was about everything that happened at the dump. Pretty uneventful now that I think about it. It would be a horrible place to work in my opinion.

Even Better Than the Movie

Last night I was walking to the video rental place. I was going through a forested path and then I suddenly saw a raccoon up ahead. I didn't want to walk right into it so I stopped and waited to see what it would do. I was far enough away that it didn't notice me. Then I noticed some dude off to the side that was offering the raccoon something. I thought it must have been food. The raccoon was getting pretty close to him and I was thinking how stupid this guy must be to be feeding the raccoon by hand. Then the dude just stood up super fast and kicked the raccoon as hard as he could. I couldn't believe it. The raccoon couldn't either. It took the kick fully in the underside but because the kick was so fast it didn't have too much power. That was the guy's mistake. The raccoon was kind of rolling back but it looked like one of its claws had managed to snag the guy's pant leg. It wouldn't let go. The guy was trying to shake it off but his efforts were pretty sloppy because I think by that point he realized that he was in a very bad situation and he was panicking.

If you've ever heard a raccoon fight before you will know that they sound really eerie. I was still locked in my place a distance away and all I could do was mutter profanity under my breath. The raccoon was still holding on with its one hand and the other 3 legs were scrabbling all over the guy's leg. The guy tried hitting the raccoon with his hand a few times which didn't really phase it and then it started trying to bite his hand when he brought it down so he quickly stopped that. The guy had been shouting and swearing since the animal had latched itself to him and he was still going. Time seemed to have slowed down for me watching the whole thing but it must have been only 6 seconds or so. The guy started spinning around in a circle as fast as he could which actually seemed to take some effect. Raccoons are heavy, so the centrifugal force from the spinning was kind of pulling the raccoon back a bit. It stopped trying to scratch the guy and just kind of held on.

It was the funniest thing to see. The guy is spinning around screaming his head off and the raccoon is just clinging to his leg trying not to fall off. This obviously couldn't last for very long. The dude started getting dizzy or something and stopped and started to stumble around a bit. The raccoon must have been a bit dizzy too because it didn't make a move right away. The guy reached for his belt buckle and had his pants down around his ankles in no time at all. The pants fell over the raccoon's head and it was temporarily tangled up in the confusion. Then it must have thought that it had had enough so it shot off of the guy's leg and ran bouncing into the trees on the other side of the guy.

So here's this guy standing alone now with his pants down, panting, swearing and probably bleeding quite a bit too, (it was hard to see how badly in the dark). The dude pulls his pants back up and staggers around a few seconds before starting down the path away from me. I then realized that I was lucky that he didn't start walking in my direction. That would have been incredibly awkward to say the least. I was kind of hidden in the shadows but I'm not sure if I would have been able to leave without being noticed. I ended up back-tracking and going a different route just because I didn't want to risk seeing the guy again as I probably would have cracked up laughing. I still can't believe how stupid he was. He must have been drunk or something. It was such a crazy sight, even better than the movie I ended up renting.

If there's any moral to this story it's don't fuck with raccoons.